Time offline

Formentera and Madrid, November and December 2021

It´s been almost two month since my last post. Too many pleasant things have kept me away from being online, fulfilling my duty in continuous blog writing. I had a few very good friends coming over to visit me in Formentera, one after the next. Mia and her daughter Maria from Vienna, Marian from Berlin, Sean and Patrice from Madrid and Ivan, my very good buddy and former flatmate, who actually came twice. He had just moved from Berlin to Madrid, escaped the neverending german lockdown, to go back to his roots in Spain after decades living abroad. Just like me.

Stefano, my boyfriend, took us all on his boat a couple of times. And Ivan, who had never fished before in his life, caught 4 huge serviolas in a row which were prepared as yummy carpaccio for lunch by Stefano. Ivan, of course, made an amazing paella from Valencia , with “little italy” coming over for dinner to the house - the resident italian community on the island. There I am again, surrounded by foodies and chefs, gaining weight without practicing enough exercise, besides some yoga sessions here and there. The only thing I stayed stuck to were the ice-cold swims in the sea to boost the immun system and feel the endorphines circulating through my brain. How exciting and nourishing. Mr P is ok with it. I try not to pay to much attention to him but have difficulties in long walks, which is a drag. Because discovering the island by foot with my visitors is a total must! One day, I take Ivan on a walk to the neighbourhood of spanish millionaires along the coast. No fences but well placed cameras on expensive palm trees don´t stop us from entering the private properties with huge terraces and olympic sized swimming pools, extended olive tree fields, with an exquisite architecture to admire. The gardeners and maintainance staff don´t spoil our visit and leave us alone, for us to dream about wealth and luxury. But at the end of the day, I am so damn happy for my minimalistic life style with lots of leisure time and fun. No slave to work, commitments or possessions make my day. Nothing more to ask for, besides health.

During my stay in Madrid end of november, I bumped into these guys: Toño Camuñas and Adan Jodorowsky, good friends of mine, who had not personally met yet but always kept mutual respect for each others artistic careers. They both live partly in Mexico City and sat separately in the same café where I had stepped into for my late morning coffee. What an amazing coincidence finding them there, totally out of the blue! I was thrilled as had not seen them since some time and introduced them to each other. I adore bringing people together and immediately knew it was an interesting match. Adan I know since his late teenager years and always considered him as my little brother. He had come to live with me during many summers on Formentera and later became my sister Deborah´s boyfriend. Of Toño, I keep an important collection of his paintings and he had come to live to Berlin for a while. In fact, the reason why I had entered that café was because the walls were filled with Toño´s art work. It even turned out that the owner Mira is a friend of mine from my times living in Madrid. She looked exactly the same than 17 years ago!

Close to the café was situated the Hare Krisha Center where I had always gone to have lunch at, back in the days, because it was vegetarian and very economic. I could not believe it when the lady serving food behind the desk recognized me when asking for a full menue. Everything in there remained the same, besides the tables and chairs. Because before we sat on the floor with the prisonlike aluminium plates in front of us, eating with our bare hands while listening to Hare Krishna songs. Mira beside me, my friend and owner from the café.

At the end, nothing is coincidence but fate. The way things just should be, right?

Happy New Year, Mr P

The Unexpected

Formentera, November 2021

And suddenly it happened that I fell for someone.

After so many years of being a very happy single, traveling all over the world, without strings attached, leading a life of a butterfly that enjoys little visits to all those interesting flowers in the field, I finally let myself go. With a fully open heart.
Aged both mid 40‘s and mid 50s, we are having fun in switching back and forth through all our lived decades in that love bird state. Mostly though staying stuck in that teenager state, being totally headless, playful and stupid. Glued together for almost 24 hours, we still see everything through those pink glasses.

Astonishing thing is that we had no idea this actually could still happen. None of us would have ever considered falling in love, or even worse, naming someone your boyfriend or girlfriend! That was totally out of the question. And here we go. From one day to the next, things change. So unexpected. We jump around like young foolish horses, both limping with our left legs due to changed physical conditions for life. It‘s so much fun to loose the plot. Neglecting our duties, we just about making it to keep up with work but all the rest is left behind in the background. Offline.

Our days consist in either getting up early by sunrise to go fishing, or cruise around the island with his Landrover doing errants. We take daily swims in the, by now, cold sea. Due to change of weather conditions after those rainy and windy weeks of november, Formentera is looking soon more like Scotland or Ireland. Not usual at all, so lush and green. While I keep searching and hunting for photographs with my Hasselblad, he takes off with his kayak to surf the mediterranean waves.

I guess, Mr P has a serious competitor, at least for the time being.

It’s a Family Affair

Formentera, October 2021

This text is being written far too late as I should have posted it at least four weeks ago, but something wonderful and unexpected occurred meanwhile and I kept postponing until today.

Last time we spend time together on Formentera, Mama and us three sisters, was at Christmas and New Years Eve during Millenium over twenty years ago. And this year, we took the ocasion of Guggi‘s 40th Birthday to celebrated it all together on the island where she had not been for so many years either.

Our home from childhood, our roots, our island. Nothing more to say besides spending quality time with family doing trips to the beaches, having dinner with old friends and enjoying each other to the fullest.

Now off again to enjoy the wonderful and unexpected. What will that be? Haha…

Me and my Hasselblad

Formentera, October 2021

It feels so good to be back on duty again! What the hell did I do all these years without my analogical media format baby in hands? Although it takes much longer to focus properly nowadays because my eye sight is getting worse but I don’t really care and rather ask for patience from the personalities I am portraying than not doing it at all. And yes, they really are important personalities for me. I am actually continuing a longterm project I had started more than twenty years ago on Formentera, which will be hopefully leading to a published book, including all the archive and present material. Therefore I am eating up one roll film after the another, taking pictures all the time and everywhere. It‘s so much fun to have gained back that passion, I can‘t believe it. Daily life is different with a camera because one is constantly searching for the right framing, measuring light and chasing the appropriate moment. Back in the days I had to force myself to leave the camera at home, in order to relax sometimes. Nowadays its different because I am not that agile anymore and a little lazier, but still hunting like a dog with the nose up against the wind. Not giving importance to the fact that I lost my sense of smell over 10 years ago, haha…

Remembering the exhibition I did in the year 2010 in Formentera on the project, I really hope to be able to do another one there. Lets see how the harvest will look like, once I develop all the film material and scan the huge amount of negatives on many rainy november days in Berlin.

Madrid and the smell of chemical liquids in the dark room

Madrid, September 2021

On my way from Portugal to Formentera, I took the chance to do a 72-hour stop-over in Madrid, as there were no directs flights going anyway. And it´s been far too long since I had been back in the city where I spend 5 years of my life, almost two decades ago. Maybe I had not come back since because back then, I quit the city with a bitter taste in my mouth and needed a radical change. But now, strolling through the center and my old neighbourhoods, meeting up with very close old friends, I recall clearly why I actually moved there in the year 2000. Because the capital is absolutely fascinating. Madrid still is the real spanish heart of the country. Very fast speaking citizens with clear pronunciation, and an attitude of a certain sovereignty that does not require any pride which I so much appreciate. Could also be described like a coolness of the obvious. I immediately fall back into their way of talking and feel proud of being recognized as a proper Madrileña, thus my northern look.

Ivan, my spanish friend from Berlin whom I shared a flat together with a couple of years ago, has moved to Madrid very recently and lets me stay in his guest room with his fat cat he brought all along from Sao Paolo. We have such a great time together and Madrid is spectaculously attractive that I suddenly decide to come and live here for a while again. Even if it´s only for a month or two, sharing a flat with Ivan, who is planning to come and visit me in Formentera aswell.

Another travel to the past is meeting up with Alberto, whom I lived almost 3 years together with. We used to run around with our analogical Hasselblad cameras all over the place, photographing everything we found interesting enough and created our own world of photography, passion and love, accompanied by the smell of chemical liquids in the dark room. I learned a lot from him in terms of photography, from the grand master who influened a whole generation of photographers and artists , and who, not long ago, received the golden medal of honor in merit of fine arts by King Philip II of Spain.

Ivan and I fetched Alberto in the Botanical Garden next to the Prado Museum, where he was experimenting with conceptual photography in his very own way, as he was asked to participate in an art project by the Museum of Reina Sofia. Of course I brought my camera aswell. And there we were again, having lots of fun together like in the old days as if nothing has changed. I did have trouble focusing though and searched for my reading glasses, laughung about Alberto´s case when he had been using by mistake during 4 years the wrong reading glasses, as his assistant had been handed out another client´s glasses by the ophthalmologist. Afterwords, we went to have lunch together, other common friends came by and it all seemed so natural as if I never left town.

Later on, I pass by Bruno Galindo´s, my great journalist friend who just published another of his many intelligent books. He handed me over an envelope with my election papers that Joseph had sent him from Berlin because I just did not know which fix adress to give as I am constantly on the road. It is very very important to me to give my vote in the upcoming general elections in Germany and hopefully the letter will arrive on time! As I leave to the airport, Ivan promises me to take it to the post office.

Mox Habemus Chancellor

Reaching Out

Furadouro in North Portugal, September 2021

Had not been in the north yet and therefore I decided to spend ten days in a village right by the beach nearby Porto. It did not really matter that I had missed my very early morning flight from Faro but unfortunately I could not then enjoy the view on the train ride to Ovar, when arriving with evening flight. No sight seeing.

Mirjam, who arrived from Berlin next day, occurred the same thing. She missed that super early flight and had to take the next one via Brussels. ( I am writing these words with an ease that actually should not be taken as such, given the fact that it was yesterday‘s 20th anniversary of the September 11 attacks.)

But anyway, we decided to spend a week by the beach in a really cool Surf and Yoga hostel and had an absolutely amazing time. Especially for me it was so important to see how much the surfing really means to me. Cause after more than a year not having been in a wetsuit in portuguese waters, it worked out much better then expected, taking in consideration my conditions. In fact, the constant paddling really helped to get rid of the rigidity in the left side of my body! Miraculously, I felt so much better and fitter, more agile and less fragile.

So it was for Mirjam. She did such good progress in her surfing! Her last time on a board was this year in february on Fuerteventura and she aswell thought initially she‘d lost her ability but that was not true. We were so bloody lucky with the weather and swell conditions as it was absolutely perfect for us. The last days, water was so warm that we could even go without wetsuit. The wild beaches have no facilities but the long stretched pine tree forests bare beautiful shady parking spots for vans and tents. Hardly any tourists around besides us, so all the waves are for the local community which is so incredible to watch at sunset, when in the ocean. We see quiet a few professional surfers who come around to train or just have fun there. Some of them even do big waves surfing in Nazaré. Damn. Very impressive.

We are just so happy with what we have reached these days and enjoy tremendously our middle-aged girls-time together. Mirjam suddenly comes up with a delicious belgian chocolate she got in her lay-over in Brussels, tasting like slow and easy sex in the afternoon. A glass of red wine and a cigarette; nothing more needed.

Mia and Pam and Journalism

Vienna, August 2021

An Interview for the austrian national broadcasting company ORF brought me to Vienna. Of course, I took advantage and spend a couple of days with my old friend Mia. Her and I met 23 years ago, during an internship at the newspaper Die Zeit in Berlin. We immediately became friends and soon were sharing a flat together. These were great times of exploring Berlin and inviting lots of people to our tiny flat were we held never ending parties. On one of those, a gay couple ( maybe not a couple? Can’t remember) broke Mia’s bed into pieces although she was already 8 month pregnant with Maria and needed to sleep in the bits and pieces when everyone had finally left the house.

These times were also the beginning of my career in journalism which I am so happy about, because the only profession or vocation I could think of as a teenager and young adult was to become a journalist. No matter if as a writer, photographer or photo editor. As long as I could smell the printed newspaper or magazine, dig deep into extended research or participate at conferences with colleagues to talk about the topics of the following issues. Create news and stories, both the small and quite ones but also the big and loud ones. Yes, I learned all this in the past 23 years. Mia and I did homeoffice together in her flat and it felt so familiar, working and living together side by side, although she chose an awkward corner to sit and type in her kitchen in Vienna. Actually, her flat reflects her personality. For instance the living room is filled with books in huge top-to-bottom-shelfs, well selected and curated art hanging on the walls, a cosy and wide sofa to sit and read on, by the open window to allow the bird‘s songs enter from the green and lush backyard.

Later on, the lady from the asian restaurants serving us the meal, asks if we were sisters cause we look so much alike! We both laugh and say yes. After three days in Vienna, Mia drives me to the airport as I go on to Portugal.

Behind stays the idea of wanting to go and live there for a month or two next summer. I would like to go and search for these roots on my father‘s side, who grew up and died there. The jewish austro-hungarian roots that gave me that blond look, as I am the only blondy in my entire family.

A big hurray to Blonde ambition!

Live broadcasting interviews, broken trains and a strike

Germany, August 2021

My book has finally been released on the 19th of august and since then I am traveling all around Germany to attend invitations to live interviews at various television broadcast companies.

The first one took place in Hamburg at the NDR studios where my great friend Mirjam accompanied me to. We almost did not make it to the live show due to a broken train and headed back next midday after an extended morning sauna bath in the hotel, on the last day of operating trains because a five day strike from the german railway company followed and complicated the whole tour.

Therefore, my other great friend from childhood, Thomas, drove me with his car back and forth to Magdeburg for a short interview at the MDR studios. Before heading back to Berlin airport to catch a flight to Stuttgart that same evening, we crossed the river Elbe on a fascinating old train bridge that is situated just beside the studios and wondered around the river‘s natural and beautiful unspoiled shore. It reminded us of our time in Berlin in the wild and exciting 90ties, back in the days when GDR was so present still.

In Stuttgart, my older cousin Michaela, whom I had last seen 12 years ago, fetched me at the Hotel that evening and we chatted and watched family photo albums until midnight. Our grandmothers, who grew up in Bohemia which is now Chech Republik, where sisters and died with 99 and 104 years. What an amazingly long life to have lived!

Next day‘s 2 hour radio interview at the SWR studios was lots of fun, I love radio and prefer it much more to television. When I used to have a car, I recall listening to all sorts of interesting radio shows both on short trips but definitely on long Autobahn rides.

Right after coming out of the studios, another team from the ZDF broadcaster waited in front and picked me up to film and interview me in a nearby park. Cool team and good questions. They dropped me off at the bus station where I waited for the one hour delayed bus to Munich. Phew! I just about made it to my dinner date…

Munich is such a neat and beautiful town, fully organized and well functioning. I remember how absolutely bored I had been when living there in the 90ties at the end of my teenager and school days, before moving to Berlin aged 19. The sun has come out and the nearby church is announcing the time as I live right in the center by the famous Marienplatz in my cosy and small boutique hotel. I drive around in the tube to get from A to B and gain back memories from when I used to escape from the public transport employees controlling if I had a valid metro ticket. I never bought one and preferred to run away when caught. In theory, I can still run now, in fact I run much better than I walk because of the tip toeing. But I am far too old to be caught by some nasty and badly mooded officials.

This evening, I will give a short interview at the BR studios during the Abendschau program and go out for dinner with a friend. Until then, I have to whole day to myself!

Travels through Germany are great!

The House in the Mountains

Soller, Mallorca in August 2021

My family friends from Formentera rented this house again, in the middle of the Unesco World Heritage mountain chain of Tramuntana, where I was invited to join like I did already last year in august, because I could not get a flight from Brazil to Germany due to travel restrictions. I had arrived from rainy and winterly Rio de Janeiro after around 28 hours with numerous PCR tests and travel documentations with QR codes, and jumped directly into the salty watered pool between the black and the white Tchaikovsky swans from the kids. The only visible plastic items to be seen around, by the way, as the rest is fully integrated in the landscape. Everything is made out of natural stone, iron or wood.

What an amazing place to spend quarantine at! No need to go somewhere anyway as it’s tourist peak season and I had everything desirable up there. One has to drive up to the house on a super narrow and adventurously steep serpentine road in first gear only, avoiding to either scratch the car or fall down the mountain with it.

I was better off on a hike up the mountains after drinking lots of coffee with an added dopamine pill from my prescriptioned pill box I bought three years ago to be used in such occasions. It worked out quite well and I was able to move properly for a couple of hours as if nothing had occurred and I enjoyed so much the sweet suffering of sweating, heavy breathing, aching and then finally running down agile and fragil after inhaling the spectacular views, all on my own. At arrival by the house, the dopamine pill had lost its power and I limped to the pool, where my super sporty friends had arrived already as they had done more of a trail run than hike, which I definitely could not keep up with.

Best thing of all was to spend real quality time with those friends and their kids, including BFF time with Tamsin. The days were spent mostly on the pool, on the terrace, in the woods, in the kitchen or in the only place available with WiFi connection, to work, stuck away in an extra room in the garden with unbearable heat. We had to set up turns for our conference calls as there was only space for one person.

The turning and shifting was followed in the bed situation inside and outside the house as we were just too many people. One night I fell asleep beside the pool on cushions on the floor, wrapped in a blanket, observing the beautiful sky filled with stars.

The one duty I was very clearly excluded from was the cooking turn because my friends are all passionate foodies with amazing cooking and baking skills. I would have totally ruined it.

Well fed, tanned and happy I left to the airport, having finished the obligatory quarantine , just to start the next one in Berlin.

Go, flow, slow

Praia do Forte in Bahia, Brazil, July 2021

We decided to get out of the big city during the kid‘s school vacation and take a flight from Rio to Salvador de Bahia. It is the twin‘s first flight ever! Their father Vitor, Guggi and me are actually more excited about it then themselves.

Already on arrival, we experience the very slow-motion rythmn of life in Bahia, the north-eastern part of Brazil, causing problems and delays. Everything takes ages or it does not actually happen at all. Nothing works by itself unless you ask for it several times in all kinds of variations. And you never know what way works out. Luckily, we decide to be totally relaxed about it in our holiday mood. We drive up north late at night to a small village close to the beach with our rental car, escaping Salvador, which is one of the most dangerous cities in Brazil.

The raining season is supposed to be over but we are able to get wet almost every day. At night, in the morning or in the afternoon at the beach. Neither is this bothering us too much, despite the chilly wind accompaning the rainfall. Beaches are empty, so wild and beautiful to run around at low tide with the kids. We build sand castles with them, search for little fish between the uncovered rocky shore bits and drink freshly served coconut water by the few little set up huts built out of palm leaves.

One day, Vitor and Guggi decide to rent surf boards to catch some waves, although conditions are not the best due to heavy onshore winds. Their adventure does not last very long as they clash together after their first wave and cause an accident on Vitor‘s mouth. His outer lip has been opened heavily with three cuts by Guggi‘s fins. They quickly drive off to the hospital and get him sewed up with twenty stitches, meanwhile I stay with the kids by the beach, not letting them see or hear what happened. After a couple of hours and some rainfall, they come back. Sun comes out, we get rid of our shirts and go on running around the beach up and down with the kids, as if nothing had happened. Vitor is a strong and very self controlled person who does not make a big fuzz about it.

As we all had started our vacation leaving behind some very busy weeks of work and delicate duties to be resolved, there was nothing to keep us away from having a wonderful harmonious and very relaxed week of family time together. In the contrary, we realized how nothing could bother us or spoil the good mood. We notice how kids enjoy our wonderful time together and seem so happy and easy.

Pure Happiness.

With or Without You

Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, July 2021

Dear Mr P,

in three weeks it will be exactly five years since I heard of your existence, of your entering into my life. Is this to be celebrated like a wedding anniversary or better like a memorial?

I know, I am a little ahead of schedule. Like I always am, such as preparing my yearly tax declaration or booking many flights a few months ahead. But it is right now, these days, that I think a lot about you. And I have no idea how much I will do in three weeks , so please take advantage of it.

I have become a different person, for the better in many ways, in the past five years. Yes. And I owe this to you, dear Mr P. Thank you very much. Besides the fact that I have grown older and a little wiser, I feel much more relaxed, humble and thankful for everything I have, self confident and happy with my life and myself. Nevertheless, you have turned out to be my Mephisto. All this growth and inner happiness I obtained has a bad side of the medal, because payback time has come. It is only actually now that I feel the consequences of the permanent deterioration process. Like Dr Faust, I am constantly thinking of how to escape the devil‘s bet, how to outsmart Mephisto and gain back my independence off the compromise.

Guggi and I have been discussing a lot about self healing process, meditation and use of the subconsciousness. We watched Joe Dispenza‘s documentaries, dealing with these topics, and have come to the conclusion that it is possible to cure a disease and get your body and mind back in balance, by reloading, reordering your brain.

May this be true. A cheers to you, to us , to this and to our fifth anniversary with Aperol Spritz!

Surf and the City

Rio de Janeiro, July 2021

Guggi tricked me this morning when she asked me to accompany her to the beach for a surf session. She presented me to the local surf instructor at Arpoador who immediately grabbed and convinced me to get into the water with him. I had mentally not been at all prepared for that and just wanted to stay by the shore to watch my sister catching waves, but all of a sudden I found myself paddeling into the waters beside the instructor, who would help to catch waves. And it felt so good! Damn. I had not been on a board since a year and had totally lost faith in my ability, due to my latest physical deterioration. Fear had become a new compagnion in my life. Fear of tripping and falling, loosing stability far too easily, dropping items from my left crippled hand. Fear of not reacting appropiate in necessary situations, ‘ cause the information sent from my brain is not arriving as fast as it should - or not at all - to my stiff extremities. My strong limping causes pain and discomfort in my hip, buttocks and lower back. The osteopath sessions have to balance out the longterm damages on the Achilles tendon, the arthritis on the foot joints, the shortening of my left leg. But there I was, standing up on the board and feeling good in the warm waters, only wearing a bikini. Guggi had talked to the instructor a day before, for him to persuade me and insist as much as possible - after she had spoken about my special conditions and fears - to play around in the ocean. And I was happy she did because it was so much fun! Hopefully to be repeated if weather and wave conditions are soft enough for me.

It’s winter in Rio and quite a bit colder and rougher than usual. Rainy days are actually good for working, despite the fact that I need to wake up at 4.45 am to keep up with european time zone and participate in regular morning conference calls with my newspaper colleagues in Berlin. But I am not the only early bird over here. Guggi gets up at 5 am aswell, to prepare her boys with enough time ahead before their pick up by the school bus at 6.30 am. The 4 year old twins are very slow and sleepy in the morning. Therefore we all usually go to bed around 8 or 9 pm the latest.

I enjoy so much playing and communicating with my nephews, although they never respond in german. What a difference to 14 month ago, when I spend with them 2 month during the first lockdown and they were not able to talk yet, beside shouting out loud „Fora Bolsonaro“ from the balcony, together with all the neighbours. Theo and Noah understand everything in german but keep continuously talking in portuguese only. I guess that is normal amongst kids. My sisters and I reacted the same way in our childhood when moving to other countries with different languages.

City life is more or less back to normal, beside the obligatory masks on everybodys faces in the streets. Most of the citizens are already vaccinated. No international but a few brazilian tourist to be noticed here and there, as out of season and a strong concern on the virus variation. I usually go to the gym or for lunch, participate in yoga classes or take a nap on a sunny day after work at my favourite little beach called praia do diabo, the devil’s beach. There I see the same elderly and sporty people as every year, playing beach ball or hanging around for chats in their chairs under umbrellas next to portable fridges containing ice cold beers. It feels very familiar and comfortable to daze away next to them, on the sandy small beach stretch between the military fortness and the big rock of Arpoador.

Again, I must admit to really enjoy the city of Rio de Janeiro, the so called ‘cidade maravilhosa’. Still got the whole month of july ahead to stay. Absolutely marvellous.

One Week Nanny

Barcelona, June 2021

My BFF Tamsin surprised her husband Ivan with a one week vacation, to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary in Greece. And I flew ‘straight outta wilderness’, with salty hair and dirty sandals, into the big city to take care of their three daughters in Barcelona during their absence. They had not been without the kids since quiet a while and really needed some time off. My wedding present - going off on a girls trip with Tamsin - had never been carried out as she got pregnant very soon after marriage. Then she did her MBA, pregnant again, And again. Then opening up a new business…Never the right timing. But now I am finally able to fulfill my slightly varied wedding gift in form of a fly- in- nanny.

City life seems hectic and a bit stressful as I find myself driving with Ivan‘ s huge 7-Seat Volvo at 8 am through traffic jam towards the girl‘s schools. And picking them up again in the afternoon. I drive slow and carefully, not to receive any scratch from the hundreds of motorbikes squeezing in between the cars, shooting through. Same at the edgy turns in and out the parking garage or super narrows streets within the neighbourhood. I must admit to be totally out of practice and a little insecure, but luckily, routine takes over and all goes well. It’s like riding a bicycle or making love, you never forget it anymore.

The girls are absolutely wonderful and I enjoy dressing them up in the morning, still with sleepy dust in their eyes, and getting them ready for school. Afternoons consist in doing homework in french, braiding bracelets in all colours and forms, eating ice cream in the neighbourhood or taking girls to ballett classes. Apart from that, it‘s repeating a million times to brush their teeth, finish eating, sorting out their fights and, finally, reading books before everyone falls asleep of exhaustion. Me included.

Luckily, I can share most of the duties with their full time Nanny Dalila, who is doing all the delicious cooking and takes care of the cleaning.

One morning, I decide to prepare for my next stop in Rio de Janeiro where I will be flying to next week: a two hours shopping tour in search for kids clothes with Superman, Dinosaur and Spiderman patterns for my four year old twin nephews. Although I absolutely hate shopping! My own clothes, for instance, are falling into pieces ‘cause of wearing the same old stuff every day. I look a bit like a forgotten potato on the harvested field. Very sun tanned, dry blond hair, unshaved legs and pre-menopause lip beard. All in all I am wearing an air of neglection, and so is Mr P - totally neglected this week. No yoga, no stretching, no CBD, no swimming, no attention what so ever. I am literally sick of him. He is totally obsolete these days.

Superman is cheering me up as I limp home with my hands full of shopping bags filled with his super power inside. Back home, I book another session with Tamsin‘s physio, who‘s first session was given to me as a gift by her, beginning of the week. By the way, I have become totally addicted to all kinds of physiotherapist‘s work on my body. It is such a good pain relief and muscle/joint relaxation. Need it every six to eight days.

The week is over. Car is back in the garage without any damages. So are the kids - no damages. Only happiness and joy! Can still feel all the cuddles and kisses of good bye, while I am sitting in the cab on my way to the airport. Lucky me to be an auntie of so many kids! Yes, lucky me…

The ending of an escapade

Formentera, June 2021

Having stayed over four month now, it’s more than evident to leave Formentera behind.

Although Deborah stayed only two, it is clear for her aswell that there is no more space left for us, given the fact that tourism has begun invading our tiny paradise. We have nowhere to live anymore as housing is being rented for much highter pricing. Neither are there empty beaches left to chill, nor relaxed places to hang out. Its getting hot and packed - farewell to sweet solitude.

Many of our friends have started their busy seasonal working life, becoming stressed and tired. Traffic police has arrived from the mainland for rigid controlling - as every summer - and one can hear the ambulance horn in higher frequency.

Deborah was lucky to watch two dolphins during her friend Alex’s routine check in the waters, who is the surveillor of the protected marine nature park, and sighted the slightly week and sick animals who had gotten strayed away from their crowd. After a few days in the shallow waters they recovered and escaped on time before the yates coming from Ibiza, took over the shores.

The sea is being invaded day after day by yates and sailing boats in all dimensions and price range, coming from everywhere. And I have started spotting the first paparazzi in search for their catch of the day-the celebrities on boats and in beach restaurants. Business as usual….

I had the chance, a couple of weeks earlier, to spend some time in the sea with Bill on a rough and windy day. And because Formentera’s port has the most expensive boat docks of the entire Mediterranean during summer, and the cheapest during winter months, Bill removed his boat from the port to the lake, where it will be ankered until the fall, like every other resident does so too. We spent great quality time talking while cutting shrimp bait for the hooks, drownding the rods and, after two hours, realizing that it had not been the appropiate day for fishing. We did not talk about the fatherly speech he gave some time before, when shouting I should get my act together and return to reality. Formentera can be a paradisiac escape for some, and a comfort zone for others who do not getting their shit together. Not many people outside my small and close family speak and critize openly but Bill has been a father figure all my life. That’s why he was the person who gave me away when getting married. And has the full right to give me his honest opinion upon my choices in life.

May the summer season be good for everyone who suffered from economical loss as a consequence of the pandemic. See you back in the fall. I am off to other adventures and places out of season.

Mama

Berlin, May 2021

It‘s been five month since I had not been in Berlin. Only went for a box stop to get some things done, but the main reason was actually to see my mother. During the short time of only seven days to fill up petrol and exchange the tires, her and I spend some great quality together. I love her so much, my dearest mother.

Beside that, I visited the totally deserted office of my newspaper - due to home office - I work at. Got my first Astra Zeneka shot and saw three of my closest friends. Joseph, Mirjam and Andrea - my gang in Berlin.

All in all, cycling through the city under the heavy clouds filled with rain, the decision to quit city life for good five months ago had been totally approved again.

Next stop: Formentera for motor oil refill. Back to the place I call my new old home, which my mother had chosen for us back in 1986, two month after the nuclear catastrophe in Tchernobyl occurred.

Well done Mama, thank you very much!

Tschaikovsky never dies

Formentera, April 2021

Have n‘t they been played and danced more than a million times, the roles of Odette and Odile? So many little girls all over the world , no matter what age, social background or nationality , who were lucky enough to be introduced to Tschaikovski‘s absolute evergreen - The Swan Lake - adore the part of the dying swan. Why is this so? No clue.

Tamsin and I fell for it aswell when we were little girls. So do now her and Ivan’s three daughters and the two of Gyp and Dana. I spent two weeks with all of them, watching the five girls dancing and singing after every lunch or dinner. That beauty and innocence of devotion to the music is a real joy to be part of, sitting on the floor right in the first row after desert!

Don‘t we all miss concerts, parties, festivals and shows of any kind after a year of pandemic? Yes. So much. And we miss dancing, no matter anymore to what sort of music. Anything to let loose. I sometimes dance all by myself at home or in the woods. And sing and shout with my ear plugs in but it must look absolutely terrible if anyone would watch me! My dancing skills have lost their charme, as left side is slower than right one. Well, honestly, I give a shit but it still feels better to be alone in that situation.

The girls care even less what they look like, as long as they have fun. And they also enjoy a week of going horseback riding at the local horse farm. It reminds me of my horseback riding times aged 7 to 11. My Ballett teacher did not like that at all, as its the total contrary leg work and posture discipline - at least that is what he said. Anyway, I loved it but never followed the classes as an adult. Now though, I wanna get back to it. Never too late for anything! I want it. Yes, I will. And the horse riding teacher is good lookin‘ …

Thank you so much for inspiring me, little girls!

It takes a muss(c)le to fall in love

Formentera, March 2021

Listening to the song „It takes a muscle to fall in love“ from 1982 by the dutch band Spectral Display while shaking the pan of fresh mussles in lime juice with garlic and pepper, makes me thoughtful. They open up so fast in the heat of the oven, in comparison to a heart that takes ages to fall in love. Damn. Have not been in love for such a long time. Totally forgot about what it is like to have butterflies in the tummy and to spend sleepless nights, one after the other.
On the other hand I am glad not having to be depending on my heart and my emotions that would influence my pragmatic and efficient decisions. What a horror having to move mountains again, just because of romantic love. Nope. As the song ends, I serve the mussles on a big plate and refill the fire wood.

It‘s raining cats and dogs and we have gathered together a bunch of friends on a lazy sunday to have lunch at our host Mariona, who is preparing the lobsters in the kitchen. They are a little hard to eat as one has to get rid of these many shells. But I have given up a long time ago already in fiddling around with that. I just eat it all. Crunchy shell between my teeth is better than having to peel with my limited left hand fingers all the precious meat out. I have gotten so used to eating soft shells that I even prefer the shrimps unpeeled. And Sardines are entirely devoured instead of getting rid of that delicate little fish bone. Luckily, my stomach is strong enough to digest it all.

And so is my immune system. I have kept on with my daily routine of swimming in the ice cold sea since I arrived to the island. Every time I step out naked of the water, it makes me feel like the legendary Sigfried tainted in dragon‘s blood who had become invincible, concerning the old german legend of the Nibelungen. Endorphins and serotonins circle around my brain and make me feel being naturally drugged.

As I have stopped drinking alcohol and smoking cigarettes, I appreciate those natural drugs given by myself very much. Feels so good to be enormously healthy with good food, good sleep, good swims and good friends.

Nothing more to be added.

The Art of Fishing

Formentera, February 2021

Back in Paradise. Back to the roots. Back home since two weeks.

Baerable confinement regulations with daily walks on the beaches or cliffs, make it easy to enjoy the quiet and pure island life. I try and go swimming every other day to boost the immune system, in spite of freezing off my guts with 15 degrees water temperature.

Can’t get the idea out of my head that I want to learn the skills of fishing. Never done it before and now it is the right time. Therefore, I ask various friends with boats to take me along and show me how to fish Calamares by dusk and Sargo, Dorada or Roncador by dawn. Or during any little day trip sailing towards nice deserted beaches with crystal clear blue waters, where you can actually watch the fish approaching the worms on the hook. One friend shows me how to tie a flexible knot around a piece of dried bread with various hooks stuck inside, floating on the surface of the water, watching carefully that gulls don‘t steel the bread and eventually get stuck on the hooks.

I really try my best, keep doing what I am told in order to get a sensibility for the art and culture of fishing. But my bucket stays empty, day after day. So far, I wont be able to survive alone if I had to be depending on that, thats for sure. Unless I capture female sea urchins to eat their delicious eggs, as done in the past. But since a couple of years, they are highly protected on Formentera and one can risk an important fine if caught. And I rather respect the sea, not the authorities.

Back on land, I go in search for the wild green asparagus growing out of nasty thorn bushes at this time of the year. What are thorn-scratched hands in comparison to delicious green-bitter tasting asparagus cut in little pieces mixed in a tortilla? The wounds heal after a day or two and my stomach is well fed. Too well fed, because I gained quite a few kilos within the last couple of months, as a result of lack of exercise. Also, my sense of balance has become worse which does not make it easier to fiddle around on a boat. I keep skipping my yoga classes and, physically, I feel like shit. Walking slower than a few months ago, my left hand is getting stiffer so I can only type with my right hand fingers. But thats nothing new. At least, the deterioration process is slow and gives me enough time to get used to the losses. And still, I feel fortunate and lucky enough to lead that life by the sea. Free and easy.

Anyway, tomorrow I will accompany another friend with another boat during another attempt of fishing. Wont give up. Never ever.

Stranded

Playa de Zahora / Andalucia, February 2021

My friend Ramiro, coming from work on a film set in Madrid, picked me up in Sevilla, where I had arrived just on time with the last bus leaving Portugal towards Spain, after borders had been shut down. The spanish authorities would only let me enter the country ‘cause of my application for residency on Formentera. Puh! Lucky me…

And here I am, well stranded in this amazing country side of the wild south coast of Andalucia, where Ramiro lives since a few years, very close to the sea, renting out lovely tourist bungalows. Every morning I collect fresh oranges for the juice from the trees in front of his house, take daily walks on low tide by the beaches of El Palmar, Caños de Meca, Zahora or Mangueta and buy fresh fish from the local markets. I drive around on a borrowed mountainbike and get my ass and Mr P moving.

In big admiration, I watch the local surfers riding waves in front of El Palmar, but often they come out soon after they wasted a huge amount of power due to the strong currents and massiv waves hitting on them. One can not really judge from the shore what is really happening but once you‘re out there, you really know what you‘re dealing with.

At this time of the year, few helicopters fly around, not because of confinement rule controlling but of surveillance on immigration or drug trafficking. And because of the difficult sea and weather conditions, no boats with illegal immigrants arrive on the coast at this time of the year. This will change soon though and authorities will be confronted with stranded boats full of immigrants in dispair, as Africa is only a few kilometers away.

On the photograph above, I sit by a stranded boat that carried so many humans who either made it or died in the wild waters. That boat had been painted by local artists to remind us of one of Europe‘s biggest issue to be solved.

Where as I only need to solve my little issue of getting done a PCR test with the negative results just on time before flying to Ibiza and taking a ferry to Formentera.

In honor of the boat people

Good bye, Berlin

Portugal , January 2021

It‘s been three weeks ago since I quit Berlin and left 16 boxes with the essential belongings in a rented storage room. Mirjam helped me with that as it had to be done the same day a flew away. We sat in Görlitzer Park beside the punks, drug dealers and colorful neighbours and drank bubbles on a cold January 2nd , before heading off to the airport.

Last time I quit Berlin was in the year 2000 to go and live in Madrid for 5 years. And I will never forget my arrival to Berlin, aged 19, on a super cold 9th of January 1995, with nothing but my clothes on and not a cent in my pockets.

This time, I carried nothing but a check in bag with warm comfortable clothes, a wetsuit, swim goggles and my rucksack with laptop, external hard drive and small music speaker into my new life as a digital nomad.

And here I am in Portugal. Freezing, due to the toughest winter since 10 years and aware of the given circumstances of extremely fast rising numbers of covid cases. Still though, I am lucky enough to be close to the sea, mostly alone in a rented house with chimney and with enough time for myself to work, write and chill. I have no idea where to end up next month, and this is exactly what I was looking for.

Mr P is getting on my nerves and makes me be as stiff as a pencil. I need heat! A lot of warmth to heat me up like a reptile in the sun. So, lets see where I can get to, the easiest way without taking too many risks in pandemic.

Where the hell will I end up? So curious to know! Stay safe and see you soon.