With or Without You

Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, July 2021

Dear Mr P,

in three weeks it will be exactly five years since I heard of your existence, of your entering into my life. Is this to be celebrated like a wedding anniversary or better like a memorial?

I know, I am a little ahead of schedule. Like I always am, such as preparing my yearly tax declaration or booking many flights a few months ahead. But it is right now, these days, that I think a lot about you. And I have no idea how much I will do in three weeks , so please take advantage of it.

I have become a different person, for the better in many ways, in the past five years. Yes. And I owe this to you, dear Mr P. Thank you very much. Besides the fact that I have grown older and a little wiser, I feel much more relaxed, humble and thankful for everything I have, self confident and happy with my life and myself. Nevertheless, you have turned out to be my Mephisto. All this growth and inner happiness I obtained has a bad side of the medal, because payback time has come. It is only actually now that I feel the consequences of the permanent deterioration process. Like Dr Faust, I am constantly thinking of how to escape the devil‘s bet, how to outsmart Mephisto and gain back my independence off the compromise.

Guggi and I have been discussing a lot about self healing process, meditation and use of the subconsciousness. We watched Joe Dispenza‘s documentaries, dealing with these topics, and have come to the conclusion that it is possible to cure a disease and get your body and mind back in balance, by reloading, reordering your brain.

May this be true. A cheers to you, to us , to this and to our fifth anniversary with Aperol Spritz!